For a hermit like me, sometimes the social aspects of the holidays give me what I call a Life Hangover.
My current Life Hangover has me mentally fast-forwarding to my New Year’s Resolution. Inevitably, I will wear myself out getting, as my wiseguy stepson says, “middle aged lady drunk,” one too many times between November and January. If he means having a second glass of red wine while living on a diet of party foods and then taking the express train to dreamland, he’s right. I’m calling it now: middle-aged lady drunk from Halloween to approximately 10 pm on New Year’s Eve.
Rock and roll, people, rock and roll.
Here’s what’s wearing me out already, and brace yourselves for a bit of a rant. Since when does engaged, creative parenting involve staging dinosaur action figures every night in the month of November? Granted, Dinovember is meant to encourage kids to unplug and be creative, and who is against that? But, every single night? With the action figures…staging scenes of destruction and mischief like so? I think not. We believe in Santasaurus at my house. That’s as far as I’m willing to go.
So if I make it through November without having to explain why the kids at school’s parents love them more than I love my kiddo, which is obviously a universal truth, because those parents stay up all night making the plastic dinosaurs create ever more creative scenes of dino-destruction, I’ll land safely in December, having dodged the dino-bullet. Phew, what a relief, right? Wrong. Enter the Elf on the Shelf Mafia. Apparently, I’m supposed to be bribing my kiddo to behave by thinking up clever ways to display an Elf on a Shelf. Just make it stop. You know how we bribe the kid to behave? We threaten to cancel Christmas, that’s how. Try it. The nonsense stops. Immediately.
Speaking of stopping the nonsense, I need a post festive-obligation detox plan. What to do. Juicing? Whole wheat flour? No flour? Ugh, the detoxers can be as zealous as the Elf on a Shelf goons, though I daresay the returns on giving up processed food are better than what I’d get from sticking an elf in a box of cereal. Why set myself up for this? This year I resolve to do something completely attainable.
I’m going totally, 100% gluten free.
But it’s not what you think.
I’m going gluten free in my dining room! That’s right, readers. Enough with the unattainable goals. I’m ridding my dining room of gluten containing decor. No more starchy and inflammatory furnishings for me.
So who’s with me? Is this a holiday ritual you can get behind? LookNook offers an array of designs, and guess what? They’re all totally, 100% gluten free. Herein are several of my favorites.